Just Say "no" thankyou!

The topic of Control Freaks remains the most often searched item bringing others to this blog. Perhaps we have an epidemic.

If the quality of your life is diminished by the insatiable needs of a control freak, assume that you are involved in this situation because you too have a problem. Control freaks attempt to control their environment and others because they are afraid. But the victim of a control freak is also afraid or he or she would not be a victim.

Control freaks actually train their victims. Each time the victim attempts to step out of the box, the control freak will make it so painful to do so that the person eventually loses the energy and the will to take the control freak on.

Are you trained? Examine your fears carefully. Perhaps confronting your fear is your first step. Are you afraid the person will leave you, fire you, beat you, or in some way make your life so miserable that you will regret attempting to defend yourself? Of course you are. That's what they do. You may care deeply for this person, and have empathy for their fears, but you still lose too much if you allow them to defeat your joy in life.

Once you look at what you fear, give it a number in terms of how much this person is ruining your life experience. If 10 is high and 1 is low, and you give it a 10, then re-examine your fear and decide if perhaps you are giving it too much control.

Sign up for our newsletters to get a more in depth review of what to do when your answer is a 10!

newsletter sign in: RelationshipRenovations