When someone says that another is "not engaged" or "lacks initiative", or is simply "ambivalent" about important things, it is usually productive to determine why. Generally conversations start and stop with these kinds of terms and the speakers throw up their hands as if the label is the answer to the question.
The label tells you nothing but the end result. What you are looking for is the cause. Lacking initiative for example, might indicate a low tolerance for risk taking. It could also be a clue to controlling behavior on the part of the labeler, indicating that the person has ceased taking initiative because it is a waste of time. It could also be a symptom of laziness, but certainly it is inappropriate to decide this is the case without a careful review.
Ambivalence is another often misunderstood symptom. The first reaction is to decide that the person is not invested and really does not care. It often however, is a symptom of powerlessness. The person may feel that any reaction on his or her part does not have any impact on the outcome.
Dive beneath the label to determine the real reason behind a behavior and you have a much higher probability of changing the outcome.
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